40 years old
Author: Anonymous Birth Date: April, 1973 Abortion Date: August, 1972
You would have been 40 years old last year, my first (not) born son or daughter. I was 17 and a drug addict. I didn’t know how what I had ingested would affect you. I felt like I had no choice, so I went to a doctor. He thought I was there for him to be my OB/GYN, but no, I was there to terminate my pregnancy.
Roe V Wade hadn’t even become law yet, but it had been passed in the Supreme Court and I knew it so I insisted. Even though the doctor didn’t want to do it, he did, and in the process of killing you, he perforated my uterus. What should have been an outpatient “procedure” turned into 5 days in the hospital recovering from abdominal surgery to fix my torn womb.
It left one scar on the outside, lots of them on the inside. I hated myself for years, and hated your father for not standing with me in my time of need. It was something I had a very hard time forgiving him for. I wanted to kill myself because I had murdered my baby, my own child, and had never given you a chance to be born into the world and bless our family.
Yes, your father and I reconciled and had two other children, though it was difficult both times to carry them to full term because of that scar tissue. I had my tubes tied after only two, with a miscarriage in between them, because it was too hard.
I am sorry that you weren’t here to know your brothers, and now your three adorable nieces. It is all my fault, I know that now, but I hope you will forgive me, because I love you and I know someday I will see you in heaven.
I can’t type anymore because my tears are making it too hard to see.