Annie or Ryan
Author: My First Name Baby Name: Annie or Ryan Birth Date: April 1978 Abortion Date: September 1977
Annie or Ryan,
Your’ mother & I were deeply in love when you were conceived, We had been together for over 3 years & engaged for the last year with plans to be married the following year. We both looked so forward to having you that we had your’ names picked out for over a year – Ananda Eileen or Ryan Michael. God sent you to us sooner than we had planned. We were both scared as we had everything planned out with our original plan. When she first told me that she was pregnant we began to talk about how we were going to manage & change our plans. 2 weeks passed & she had a second pregnancy test confirming that you were here. She asked me if I had told my parents yet – I had not. I was still trying to figure out what we were going to do before I told them. This was my biggest mistake & I wish could go back in time & relive that moment. Less than a week went by & she had allowed herself to be influenced by planned parenthood & I think her mother to have the abortion. She never gave me any idea that she was considering this. We were both Catholic & this was not an option that I ever thought she would consider. I was devastated when I found out what she had done & so was she. It soon became to difficult for her to have me around as a reminder, so she left me as well. I loved your’ mother more than anyone can love another person. A large part of both her & me died with you the day that you were taken & we could never repair the damage that had been done.
I look back now after 41 years &still cannot believe what happened. Roe v Wade had only been the law of the land for 4 years & the selling of abortion had already begun by planned parenthood. Your’ mother was advised that I as your’ father had no say & didn’t need to be considered in her decision. The sad thing is that we were not the typical crisis pregnancy. We were both in college, had good jobs & came from affluent families that would have helped us through the initial rough patches of having you sooner than expected. The fears that we both had about having you early proved to be unfounded. I ended up leaving college early because I couldn’t focus due to all of this loss. I was able to land a great job with a company that I have been with for 39 years. The year that you would have been born my father built a 40 unit apartment complex that your’ mother & I could have lived in rent free – I did for 2 years. We had so much help if she would have just trusted me. She married someone else later & didn’t finished college for another 20 years because she had 2 other children.
None of us can know what the future has in store for us. The prospects that planned parenthood & others give to young people in similar situations are not necessarily what will be. None of us know how the circumstances of our lives will turn out to be, but taking the life of our unborn child for whatever those possibilities might be is never worth the price.
Annie or Ryan – I have loved & missed you all of these years. I’m sorry that I was not able to save you. I think your’ mother regrets what she did so please forgive her. I pray for you every day now & look forward to the day that I might see you in Heaven. I know that you are there in the arms of God & your’ Grandma & Grandpa, I just hope that I can get there as well.
Love you forever,