I love you forever, my son…

Author: Rute
Baby Name: Reuben
Birth Date: June 2009
Abortion Date: October 2008

My sweet little baby. It has been nearly 7 years, my love… and not one day goes by where I don’t think about you. I was afraid, ignorant of the truth. I was pregnant and I didn’t want to be. I just didn’t see that ending a pregnany actually meant…ending a life. And it ended my life, too. My son- I always imagine you to be a boy. I would have called you Reuben- it means First Born in Hebrew… I just want to say that I love you eternally. I miss you and I pray to see you again one day. These little ones here are your little siblings. Ending your life made me lose my mind, and I felt this urgent need to replace you… Lara is the one in the middle… she’s the one I tried to replace you with. But after 5 years of her life, I have realised that she’s an individual little girl- just like you were. You can never be replaced, my baby. Never.

Juliana is a fiesty little one! She will make us all proud! And your baby brother, Aslan. He is just so wonderful and pleasant!!

My baby, I adore you so so much!!! Please forgive me, my boy. Mummy didn’t know… mummy didn’t know… I am so sorry… Forgive me, my son. Forgive me.

I love you forever. My baby Reuben. You are in my heart for as long as I live.