I Miss You
Author: Anonymous Baby Name: Benjamin Birth Date: May 2008 Abortion Date: October 2007
19, dumped and emotional. I had always been pro-choice (and I still am) and I was the first one to suggest abortion. He went along with it because it was what he wanted too, but when I started having second thoughts and wanted to change my mind, all of a sudden it was “we decided together … one no and one yes doesn’t = yes, and you don’t have VETO”. It was, “you’re a coward … you won’t be a good mother” and “you have to do this”. I had people tell me they would be there for me if I did have the baby, but at the end of the day I believed all the things he said to me and thought it was the best choice to make out of an array of shitty options. The moment it was over, and I felt the emptiness inside, was the moment I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life and have felt remorse ever since, and will for the rest of my days. This has nothing to do with religion or God (I’m somewhat atheist), yet to me it was still my baby, and I’m still a mother who lacked courage to protect my child and stand up for myself. 7 years later and I still struggle with forgiving myself.
Love you B.
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Mar 02, 2014 @ 11:49:57
B,
Your story touched me deeply. Please continue your spiritual journey for the rest of your life. I’m not here to tell you what to believe but let you know that my belief
is that you can be reunited with your little Benjiman one day. Don’t beat yourself up over the past, just live the best that you can. All the best.
D
Mar 04, 2014 @ 09:37:24
You are right, God had nothing to do with the abortion. God can have everything to do with your healing. There is a place called Rachels Vineyard that can help you forgive yourself. Rachelsvineyard.org 1877HOPE4ME