I’m so sorry
Author: Anonymous Baby Name: Jade & Zalmai Birth Date: August 24
I am so sorry. I can never forgive myself. I miss you both so much, you gave my life a new meaning and I have been a better person since I learned about you. I feel like I had no other option, especially when I learned there were two of you. I couldn’t believe god had chosen me for that miracle.
But he also chose me to bear other burdens, like knowing who your father really was. I found out he had a whole life I didn’t know about and I realized things would never be stable or safe the way you both deserved. You deserved the love of two parents, committed to each other, not the mess we had on our plate. I couldn’t bear to see you grow up with no father like I did. Believing he didn’t want you. I had no resources, no job to pay for our life. Twins at my size meant definite bedrest for months. I have grieved for two years and the pain subsides now but August is painful and I always see its return. You changed my life forever. Know I carry you with me everywhere I go, and you influence every decision I make. You have made me a better wife, daughter, student, prospective mother.
I am so sorry. You deserved so much more.