My darling daughter

Author: Anonymous
Baby Name: lily
Birth Date: november 2015
Abortion Date: march 2015

Sweet Lily..

It has been two hard years since I let you go, and not a day has gone by that I don’t think of you. I named you Lily, symbolizing a restored innocence after death, I thought this would suit you because you were never given the chance to lose your innocence.. and because losing you was the final piece of me losing mine. I am so sorry for not giving you the chance you deserve, I know you would have been wonderful and so full of life. I want you to know, even though you’ll never see this, that it was never your fault, and it was not from lack of love that I did this to you. I love you. I loved you from the moment I discovered you existed, on the floor of the 7-elleven bathroom. I loved you with a love that I never knew was possible, a love that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling.

Your daddy is supportive and loving, and although he does not show his feelings all that well, I know that he misses you and would have loved you very very much. I love you so much my sweet girl, even though I only knew you for a short 8 weeks, you filled my entire heart while you were with me and letting you go was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. Having that operation went against every instinct in my body, the universe really really wanted you to exist, I could feel it.. and I let you down, and for that I am sorry. I know that I wouldn’t have been able to care for you at the age of 16, and even now I know I made the right choice, but that doesn’t stop my heart from breaking every time I think of you.

All I ever got of you was your heartbeat, they told me it was strong, you were strong. I will always remember that heart beat, I wish I could have felt it through more than the ultrasound. You are so loved my princess. xoxo

-mommy