The one I didn’t know I wanted

Author: Anonymous
Baby Name: Samuel

I never knew I wanted you. I went through the entire pregnancy resenting the life I was carrying… your life. I tried everything to get rid of you and just when I was finally accepting you, I went into labor. You weren’t ready, just 16 weeks in. I rushed to the hospital and ended up having you over the toilet. I will never forget the sight of your lifeless body hanging between my legs. I will never forget the holding you, staring at your almost fully formed face. Looking at your little finger and toes. I will never forget the pure shock and terror that I felt… or the regret of never wanting you to begin with. I don’t deserve you and that’s why now that I don’t have you, I need you. RIP my little Samuel. I’m so sorry.