Always in my heart

Author: Anonymous
Abortion Date: June 2017

I feel everything and nothing all at once. In making this decision I felt as though I was doing what was best for you like a mother would do. I’m 17 and do not have the money to give you the life I would’ve wanted you to have and the one that you deserve. I will forever kick myself and never forgive myself for putting you through this and being selfish in not being able to give you life when you were growing bigger every day. I feel like I don’t deserve to miss you when ultimately this was my decision but I do and I can’t help but look for signs of you and now I can’t feel you with me anymore I realise that I am lost and I don’t know what to do now it’s all over. I would have loved you so much and will always imagine what you would’ve looked and sounded like and I’m sorry that we couldn’t meet and I couldn’t hold you in my arms. I hate myself for taking away something that could’ve given me so much love and purpose and I could’ve done the same for them. When you were taken, a bit of myself and my heart broke and went with you too, I will forever hold you in my heart and be truly sorry for doing this to you when you were so innocent and so me.