Blurred Vision

Author: Forgotten Father
Baby Name: Angel
Birth Date: 08/2013
Abortion Date: 01/2013

I have noticed many of these posts are from mothers commemorating their lost babies. I figured a “mans opinion” couldn’t hurt. Let me begin by saying that like many of you, the pregnancy I created was not planned. As of the abortion, 01/2013, I was and am 21 years old. I did not and do not my consider myself ready to be a father. That does not mean I wasn’t ready for the major change in my life that comes with expecting a child because I have been and always will be a very strong minded person and I know I could have done it. Anyway, I had to find out from someone other than my child’s mother that she was pregnant. When I confronted her about it, she was honest and told me she was. Let me just add that me and the child’s mother had just finished a 2 year relationship and were not together when we conceived. I feel this complicated things and eventually led to the abortion. She had an at home abortion that I helped her through. I saw all the blood, chunks, tissue matter and pieces coming out of her…that was my blood coming out of her blood that I SHOULD have protected and nurtured for its entire life. Unfortunately, the shock and awe of the situation blurred my mental clarity. When babies mom asked what I wanted to do…I told her whatever she chose I would support her. Saying that was the biggest mistake of my life because it lead to the death of my first baby that I will never be able to hold, kiss, and raise as my own. I have somewhat started to come to terms with what happened. I still regret it everyday of my life, every waking moment. I see babies everywhere..mommys an daddies with their little ones. I will never have that and it eats at my soul like a damn termite. I can’t stop it I can’t change it. What’s done is done and that’s the point if this post. If you are considering having an abortion…DO NOT do it. You will hate yourself, you will look in the mirror an see a zombie. It is not worth it i promise you. Please I beg you, person I don’t know, do not have the abortion it will leave scars on your soul. I love you my baby.. I never met you but I will one day..until then my child..daddy loves you