Dad to Child

Author: Larry
Birth Date: Fall 1976
Abortion Date: early 1976

I was 18. Your Mom was twenty-something. We only dated a few weeks. She told me she was pregnant. I freaked out. I was selfish and only thought of myself. I was a young military kid, and she was a Vietnamese immigrant. I wasn’t ready for marriage. My life as an adult had just begun there at Ft. Meade, She had to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn’t see it any other way. I demanded it. I paid her to have the abortion. She was horrified at the thought of giving up our baby. But, she went through with it. You and your Mom were the victims. I was the dumb kid who didn’t use birth control. Yes, it takes two to tango, but I accept my irresponsibility. I never saw your Mom again. I abandoned her. — Now, decades have passed, and I’ve thought of you often – still do. Were you my first son? Were you the daughter I never knew? I’m now married and I have a son – an only child. You would be turning 40 in a couple of months. — I’ve often had other thoughts about my relationship with your Mom. Did she actually give birth and raise you on her own? Was she lying to me about being pregnant and then simply took my money? I’ve wished many times that she had lied to me. That I wouldn’t have contributed to your murder in the womb. And, on the other hand, I’ve wished that she really did have you, and that I might find you, or you find me. I’ve actually looked for you via the web, posting on Vietnamese websites, hopeful that you might be alive. — I’m a Christian now. I gave my life to Jesus 2 years after my relationship with your Mom ended. So, if you were aborted, I know I’ll see you in heaven. I occasionally pray for you and for your Mom. I pray I’ll see both of you in heaven. But, for now, I bear my burden. God bless you, my child.