Dads hurt too. 😢
Author: My First Name Baby Name: Never chose a name Abortion Date: 1980
When my fiance told me she was pregnant, I was so excited. I was so happy. I always wanted to be a dad.
When she told me she was going to have an abortion, I about died. I begged her over and over to keep my baby. Every time I thought I had her convinced, she turned around and changed her mind. I begged and pleaded and begged. In the end, she had the abortion. When my baby died, I died too. It took me years to get past it. I will never get over it. It’s been over 40 years and it still hurts. I will never stop wondering who my little one would have grown up to be.
I only hope that I will some day see you in heaven, my sweet little one. Daddy will always love you!
Feb 24, 2021 @ 11:22:56
I am so sorry. The loss of a child is something we never get over. We learn to live with the loss, but we acknowledge that they were a human child, a part of you for the briefest of time. My unborn child in 1983, a very selfish decision to end his life, would be very much a man right now. His name would have been Ian. I think about him a lot. I have dreams about him dancing with Jesus and playing with other children (earlier than right now). I also think about the father of Ian and how when I told him (he was cheating on his wife with me – shame on me), he laughed at me, and only being 22, I actually joked and said I would name it after him – yelling it outside to him while he was getting into his truck. It should have been a serious moment, but I didn’t take it that way. I was a total mental mess back then. I’m not now. I want you to know that the pain never goes away. I am still seeking counseling to deal with this loss. You seem like a very sensitive man, abortion does affect a man, and in this case, your choice got taken away from you. Did your fiancé ever tell you why she didn’t want your child? Did you ever go on to have more children? One of the things I grieve the most was when I was pregnant in 1983, I chose abortion to “get rid” of my problem (most young women at “the clinic” were there to also get rid of the problem (it wasn’t even a child) – one of the girls there said she was on her 4th. Her 4th! Another woman was dolling up her make-up and meeting up with her boyfriend. I almost vomited. I couldn’t stop crying the whole time. Anyway, that year was the only time I was ever pregnant. I never went on to marry until I was 39. The man I married had two children and we were (wrongly) advised not to try and have children because it would upset his children. So, 1983 was my only shot – I carried that around a lot. Well, I hope you are taking steps in the grieving process because your child is very special in the Kingdom of God, and I’m sure that yours and mine will be great friends together. I wish you well.
Oct 19, 2022 @ 12:46:35
I have two grown children now. Ironically, they stopped talking to me over 11 years ago. They both have kids of their own. My daughter has five and my son has two. I’ve only seen them in a few pictures. I’ve never been allowed to see them and so they don’t even know I exist. The heartache from this is unbearable and I have to live with it every day of my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry my heart out. I guess I just wasn’t meant to be a dad or even a grandfather. Missing them is just a part of living. It has become a way of life. At least for me.
Apr 19, 2021 @ 23:49:21
I will hold both of your hearts and your childrens’ souls in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your touching testimonies. I was looking for a different site and found this one with your stories. There is a National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children every year at gravesites throughout the U.S. I was looking for this website. (www.abortionmemorials.com) It will be held on Saturday, Sept 18th 2021. I’ve been to it twice – so beautiful…
Someone dear to me had an abortion in 1983. Her boyfriend didn’t want to get married and didn’t want the baby… I tried to talk them both out of it. I didn’t go with her to the abortion clinic – she went alone. I wish I had gone and I wish I had helped her walk out of there before the abortion and that we had found hope somewhere. I love your vision of your son dancing with Jesus and these little ones being friends. …God’s mercy endures forever. He makes all things new.
Jul 01, 2021 @ 01:02:54
Oct 18, 2022 @ 09:10:04
That’s horrible. I’m so sorry..