I decided to have an abortion. I didn’t tell anyone.

Author: Anonymous

I didn’t have a lot of strong, positive male figures in my life growing up. My dad and I had a very volatile relationship so we weren’t very close. Now my father and I have an incredible relationship, but it definitely did a lot of damage to me as a younger woman. My mom talked openly with me about sex, but I was still really naïve. I always said I wanted to wait for marriage, but I never actually put boundaries in place to make that happen.

I was with my first boyfriend collectively for seven years, but we had an eight-month break. During that time I started drinking a lot, hanging out with some old friends, and seeing this other drug-addicted, mentally unstable man. And shortly after that, I found out I was pregnant.

When I finally told my ex-boyfriend about the pregnancy, he was so heartbroken. He said, “We can make this relationship work, but I just can’t raise another man’s child. I’m not telling you to get an abortion, though, because that’s your choice.”

I decided to have an abortion. I didn’t tell anyone.

When you have an abortion, they don’t tell you about the emotional, physical, or the spiritual side effects that come with it. Afterward, I started drinking and going out even more. I began to self-mutilate. Every day I’d wake up and wonder, Why am I still alive? Why do I have to live through this? That was my lowest point.

Eventually I broke up with my boyfriend and moved back in with my family. When I told them about the abortion, they said, “Why didn’t you tell us? We would have helped you raise the baby.” It was with the support of my family and my faith that I was able to come to terms with the abortion.

When you’re in that position, you may not want to be talked out of getting an abortion, but you want to be loved. You want to know somebody cares about you and you’re not alone. It really is amazing what God has brought me through up to this point. I’m blessed to be alive.

It may look hopeless, but there are people — probably more people than you think — who are willing to support you.