Goodbye little one. Please forgive me.
Author: Anonymous Baby Name: Amir Ali Birth Date: March 27th 2014 Abortion Date: August 12th 2013
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Jul 10, 2020 @ 10:16:08
Its been ages. You have a sister. You are remembered daily if you only knew the circumstances and the journey your mama has been on….her wings are broken and her spirit is being attacked but shes trying to rescue herself and take your sister too.
Jul 10, 2020 @ 10:36:29
It was my first pregnancy. I loved my partner alot even though he cheated. Initially he said he would support me when I told him I was pregnant but said needed a dna test done. However, later on he became abusive in everyway and unavailable physically emotionally and basically in everyway. I contacted his brother for help who only added fuel to the fiery situation. I was all alone in a bad place. I hid my pregnancy and approached the family planning who thank God took over the situation and directed me. I was lost. I loved my son wanted my son but could not have my son. No one was with me. I had nothing. It was winter 2013. I went to the scan alone. I saw my baby was told was too early for abortion. I had to carry my baby for two to three more weeks to be booked into next available booking at the clinic. Thankfully it was a government funded clinic. My best friends turned up to sit with me. I was nervous and scared and already mourning in my heart. The weeks of interviews with the nurse, the social worker and the doctors were playing out in my head. Convincing them this was what I truly wanted when it was anything but the truth. As I lay on the surgical table I could not stop crying and sobbing loudly “I’m Sorry I’m Sorry” non stop. A kindly nurse had offered to hold my hand to support me. When it was over, the doctor asked me if I wanted the remains and to this day I regret saying no. I regret not seeing my son’s face or burying him. But I was ashamed to face my Amir Ali as his father had wanted to name him when he was happy or high I will never know. That day two people died a son and his mother. I miss my Amir Ali and often wonder if he will ever forgive his mother and father. I have forgiven his father. My baby would have turned 7 this year March 2020. I had my abortion around mid day on August 12th 2013. I have left my partner (he became more abusive, his drug use has rocketed and he started cheating on me openly) and am single. I didnt know if I will ever find love and get pregnant again but this I know Amir Ali will always be my first child. I know this honestly that abortion was the only door open to me in June 2013 and this has allowed me to forgive myself over time and accept my life. I needed to say all this. The pain never numbs.