Heartbroken
Author: Anonymous Birth Date: March 2020 Abortion Date: July 2019
In all honesty, I was never for pro choice or supported abortions. My decision to abort this pregnancy at 6 weeks was a fast decision. I am a mom of 3 and believe me it is very stressful at times. Being a full time mother to children all under the age of 10 is very difficult at times. Working full time and working on your degree just adds to the madness. I’ve always talked about having more children but when the time was right. Right now just didn’t seem like that time and I am crushed because I wanted you. I wanted another little baby to hold in my arms and love. I feel horrible every single day and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I feel like everyone is going to judge me for my decision. Often times I feel like my spouse is judging me for what I did. I alone can’t even accept the fact of what I have done. I am hurting and silently living with it.
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Jul 09, 2019 @ 07:38:26
You are not alone.
Aug 08, 2019 @ 01:03:14
I not only feel your grief, but am living it. I, too, made a rapid decision at 6 weeks to terminate my pregnancy. I never viewed myself as pro-choice because I never thought I’d be in the situation where I’d choose it for myself. I have 3 kids, all under the age of 8. I work full-time. My day to day is chaotic and stressful. As soon as I learned I was pregnant I immediately thought of abortion because I couldn’t wrap my mind around the stress of having a 4th child. But I wanted my baby at the same time. Because it was so early in the pregnancy, I felt the pressure to make a fast decision. And it crushes my soul that I made the wrong one. As soon as it was over I immediately regretted the decision I had made. My husband gave me his full support as we discussed this decision and made it together. But ultimately I am the one who is responsible for the heartache I bestowed upon myself. One that will haunt me until my last breath. I know I have to keep living as normal of a life as I can for my 3 children but behind my smile will be a broken heart. I’ve never felt so alone, even with my husband by my side. I feel like such a horrible person, mother, for doing what I did. And I’m afraid that I’ll never recover.
Aug 13, 2019 @ 11:13:02
I am so sorry you are struggling with the same situation as me. I am still struggling. The medication did not do it’s job so now after all of that I have to be prepped for a D&C which they have taken forever to schedule me for; due to dr summer vacations and just being over booked. This has been a true nightmare. Since my original posting last month this has been an extra long process for me. I feel so horrible every single day. I have tried to hide behind work and have put in OT to hide my pain. I agree, as I look at my other kids I can’t even imagine life without them and here I am making decisions to not have another one.