IF MY WOMB HAD WINDOWS
Author: Lana Baby Name: Baby michael
When I was fourteen years old I lived in Madisonville, Texas where I grew up with four brothers. My parents got divorced and my father moved away to take a better job. My mother broke her back when I was two, so at a very young age I learned to help take care of my family. At this point I met Mike, and at the time I felt as if he was my rock. It felt so good to be able to lean on someone for a change and Mike, for a time, was that person. He was nineteen years old and naturally it didn’t take long for us to progress into a sexual relationship.
Then the abuse started. He would slap me across the face for no reason. I was not allowed to wear shorts and if you’ve ever been to Texas you can imagine how uncomfortable that was. Once, he took a knife and cut the halter under my shirt off. He told me that I was to NEVER wear a halter top again. I was not allowed to get in a vehicle with my friends and most definitely not allowed to go anywhere with them. I worked at a movie theatre and one night while I was cleaning up, for no reason He hung me upside down over the balcony and thought it was funny with me crying so hard not knowing if he would drop me and my life could of ended.I was living in fear.
I didn’t tell anyone because I was SCARED and wanted to PROTECT my mom and brothers from him. Then I got pregnant. He must of known I was looking for a way out and he thought that by getting me pregnant he could maintain control over my life. So there I was, fourteen years old just leaving the eighth grade and pregnant. NOBODY ever talked to me about birth control. I remember the last few days of school being sick in the girls room. Only God KNOWS the confusion,tears and fear I was feeling at this time.
I told my mother I was pregnant and she arranged for me to have an abortion in Dallas. At this point I was six weeks pregnant and had absolutely no idea what I was about to undergo. Before I knew what was happening I was laying on a cold table in a white room. My life would never be the same. When I left the clinic I saw other girls just like me. Young, scared and confused. It is something that has stayed with me my entire life.
Mike’s abuse continued for a few more months.. Until one day my mother, younger brothers and I moved to Maine where my mother was born. She wanted to live closer to her family in Maine and Mike was finally, once and for all, out of my life forever.
One night at fifteen years old I was alone in our new Maine apartment. I turned on the television, flipped a few channels and stumbled onto a show about abortion. For the first time in my life I realized exactly what I had done. This film made it clear to me that I beared responsibility for the death of my child. I understood that at the time of conception a human being is conceived and that they deserve the right to live just as we do. Oh the pain I felt, there are no words that could describe it. “My God, My God. What have I done?” I began crying and screaming. I ran into my bedroom, locked the door and cried for hours. I pounded the walls and cried out, “why?”. If only I had seen this film a year earlier I never would of had the abortion. I layed in the fetal position on my bed and cried myself to sleep.
I believe that every woman considering an abortion should have the information they need to make the correct decision. I am writing to President Obama and doing every thing I can to try and make it a law that before any woman has an abortion should have to see a film on abortion and be educated before taking her own baby’s life. If I would of been educated on abortion my baby would be alive today and I would not have to carry this PAIN for the rest of my life. We need to realize that we are making a decision that will follow us for the rest of our lives. We are so young, confused and scared that we don’t realize the horror of our choice until later in life. I have never been the same. For years I would cry for hours in the corner of my room. God has forgiven me but it took me years to forgive myself. The pain never leaves. I named my baby Michael after St Michael the Archangel and I know that I will hold him in Heaven.
I wrote a song named “If my womb had windows” and another named “Tears from the heart”. God willing I will soon write a book detailing my stance on abortion and my values as a Christian. If I can save just one baby it will be worth writing about and talking about the pain that I have suffered. Even though it is difficult still this is what God has called on me to do. I have not talked about this time of my life for years but whatever doors God opens for me concerning abortion I will be on the front lines fighting for the rights of all unborn children.
This is why I started SavingTheUnborn.com. For my baby in Heaven, for your baby and for all children who have yet to have their lives taken from them. For children on Earth who need us. For mothers who are hurting from an abortion. This website is for all of us. For anyone who is abused, lonely or tired of living this site is for you. Anyone in a abusive relationship PLEASE get out and PLEASE reach out for help and don’t hide the abuse cause it won’t go away and only gets worse.This site is to spread God’s love and for you to know that you are special no matter who you are or what you have done.We also need to pray for the abuser.PLEASE reach out for help and ask for forgiveness.Jesus loves each and every one of us and together we can pray for peace on Earth. We can pray for our youth ,the abused, precious and innocent children on this earth who are unloved and abused by their own mommy’s and daddy’s but are sooooo loved by Jesus and for our innocent little unborn.”BEFORE I FORMED YOU IN THE WOMB I KNEW YOU.”
I am going to build a church and it will be known as Mother of the Children and Unborn. This church will be dedicated to praying everyday for children, the unborn and everyone affected by the tragedy of abortion,miscarriage or loss of a child.There will be a wall in our church with the names of the unborn including baby Michael engraved upon it. There will always be a candle lit to represent life. So that people can realize how many lives have been lost. If you are a parent who has suffered through an abortion, miscarriage or loss of a child and you would like the name of your unborn child on our wall please send me their names and as much information you feel comfortable sharing. Our goal is to spread awareness through this website and the church to help women make the correct decisions with their lives and the lives of their precious children.4,000 women choose to abort every day.Thats about 1.5 million abortions each year.On my front page of this site look at the picture of baby Zoe Grace with her precious little hands clasps together like she is praying and also the picture of Mother of the unborn,the blessed mother holding an aborted baby with the precious little hands clasps together praying.God is SPEAKING through these little angels asking us to PRAY for the unborn and our innocent little children who only need our “LOVE!”
I know every baby lost or aborted goes directly to Heaven. A human hand should never end a life. The cries of the unborn reach God’s ears. A child in the mother’s womb is a human being from the moment of conception. Created in the image of God, to love and to be loved. Let us pray that nobody will fear protecting that little baby, to help that little baby reach the world healthy, happy, full of life and potential. Jesus said “If you receive a little child in my name, you receive me”. Life is the most beautiful gift from god to mankind. I have given my life to God and I will spend the rest of it helping others. Especially God’s little children and the unborn.Please lets help save the unborn!! PRAY everyday!! When prayers go up,blessings come down and i will pray every single day of my life for abortion to finally end.Martin Luther king had a dream for equal rights and God answered his prayers and many others..At one time this seemed impossible but with God all things are possible!! Martin Luther King’s dream did come true and that is because he was a true man of God Red and yellow,black and white ,we are ALL precious in his sight…..!We are ALL God’s children loved by our heavenly father who looks at what is in our heart and not at the color of our skin.Slavery was wrong and abortion is wrong and that is why I BELIEVE God will also hear our prayers and my dream will come true for abortion to finally end.Hand in hand lets pray for abortion to end. I am pro-life and if you are pro-choice I am not here to argue with you but only tell you I do not want anyone to feel the PAIN I have and there are no words to describe the sorrow in my heart and soul i have for my precious little baby that lost his life and praying his little life can help save others.”You saw me before i was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”PSALM 139:16 NLT God is Pro-life!! “Before i formed you in the womb I knew “YOU”