Only Memories

Author: Anonymous
Baby Name: A. M. W.
Birth Date: June 2015
Abortion Date: November 2014

I never wanted to do it. I can’t eat and haven’t since I held you in my hand. I hardly sleep. I know I made the wrong decision. You were innocent. I betrayed you. I was supposed to be a mother, not a monster. I’ve never felt so horribly about anything in my life. I would do anything to take it back and to get you back and have you safely back inside of me. It’s been nearly 2 weeks and I feel more alone than ever before…and I know now that I am. You’re not with me anymore. No one wants to hear me talk about how I feel about doing what I did and how I regret it. I feel so alone. And it’s my fault. I never should have let myself do what I thought was expected of me just because I thought I would be judged otherwise. I wish I could bring you back. I really loved you. I loved you from the instant I found out you were there. I didn’t plan for you. Your father didn’t want me to keep you. But you were loved, even though I only got to meet you after you were lifeless and only a bit bigger than a decent sized grape.