Only Memories
Author: Anonymous Baby Name: A. M. W. Birth Date: June 2015 Abortion Date: November 2014
I never wanted to do it. I can’t eat and haven’t since I held you in my hand. I hardly sleep. I know I made the wrong decision. You were innocent. I betrayed you. I was supposed to be a mother, not a monster. I’ve never felt so horribly about anything in my life. I would do anything to take it back and to get you back and have you safely back inside of me. It’s been nearly 2 weeks and I feel more alone than ever before…and I know now that I am. You’re not with me anymore. No one wants to hear me talk about how I feel about doing what I did and how I regret it. I feel so alone. And it’s my fault. I never should have let myself do what I thought was expected of me just because I thought I would be judged otherwise. I wish I could bring you back. I really loved you. I loved you from the instant I found out you were there. I didn’t plan for you. Your father didn’t want me to keep you. But you were loved, even though I only got to meet you after you were lifeless and only a bit bigger than a decent sized grape.
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Nov 18, 2014 @ 09:01:29
Thank you so much for sharing your story!!! I want you to know you are not alone in your feelings.. There are so many of us out there that have felt and still feel the same way. I wanted to share with you that I have just recently became a leader to lead an abortion healing bible study class.. Its called Surrendering The Secret. Not sure where you are from but most Christian based pregnancy aid centers lead this study. Its a bible study to help you break free from the guilt and shame of your decision. I know it may seem like that is impossible.. But its not. I, too, have suffered through an abortion.. This class really does help. If you are interested in it. Email me! I can do Skype sessions, one on one or whatever. Please try to seek healing. God knew your decision with this baby before you did. God was not who led you to the abortion.. But he will use his goodness, forgiveness and grace to heal you and help you through. I know the grief you feel, the shame, the guilt, the anger, etc… Also know that there is a healing and a forgiveness and mercy for our decisions.. We all fall short of the glory.. But God sent his one and only son to die for ALL not some of our sins. I’m here for you and will be praying for you!!! You are worthy and deserving of his love and forgiveness.