Missing You Always

Author: Cara
Birth Date: January 2014
Abortion Date: June 2013

If love was enough, you would be here with me. I want you to know that–you are so loved. I struggled with my decision, and what led me to that clinic was a mixture of many things. Your dad and I have only been together for a few months, and we both have children already. Your dad doesn’t work right now, and I just got a new job that I didn’t want to jeopardize. These are selfish reasons, I know.

I think of you every time I look at your brother. I wonder what kind of relationship you would have had. I wonder if your brother would forgive me for taking the life of his sibling.

I will always wonder what you would have been like; would you have looked like me? I wish I believed in heaven so I could tell myself that you would be in my arms someday, but I don’t believe in heaven and I know that you are gone forever. I’m sorry. Those words mean nothing to you, but I want the world to know how truly, deeply sorry I am. My second child, my second love, you will never be forgotten. I will never stop wishing, wondering…I will never stop loving you.