my angel

Author: Anonymous
Birth Date: october 1,2013
Abortion Date: january 19th,2013

when i was 16 years old I was sexually active. Me and the father had a relationship but had sex and then did not talk. I was going to school and i was constantly sick and i was very exhausted and did not know why. I had some what of an idea that i might be pregnant but i was not sure, so i took my friend to the mall and we bought a pregnancy test and it came out positive. from the moment i saw that test i was in love with that baby i loved him or her so much i cant even explain it. i was about to end my life as a teenager to take care of and be a mother to this baby. I was going to keep this a secret from my parents until they couldnt do anything about it. 2 weeks later my parents notice that im getting sick and sleeping alot and smells bothered me and everything so my mom made me take a pregnancy test and i did and she saw that it was positive. My dad was very upset and my mom was actually being very nice to me and everything and feeding me crackers and telling me to relax and telling me everything was going to be alright. the next morning i was extremely sick and i remember my mom telling me that we were going to go to an appointment. i thought this was going to be a check up to see if the baby was alright. before i knew it, it was a clinic were they did abortions and my heart just went numb and i was very upset because i was going to lose my baby. my mom made me sign papers and she made me go through with it. they first had to do an ultra sound to confirm that i was pregnant and confirm how many weeks i was. i couldnt even see the ultra sound and my baby. that broke my heart that i couldnt see the baby i was so inlove with and the baby that i was holding. they confirmed that i was 6-8 weeks in about a month, and that i could do the abortion pill. I freaked out and cried when they were explaining it to me but basically i had to take a abortion pill that stopped the growing process and, then a few days later i had to take 4 pills that induced labor and flushed everything out and then i had to take pain pills. i remember i did not have school because it was midterms week. i went in on a monday and i started bleeding on a wednesday. i was all alone, and basically i was walking in my room and this huge clot comes out and pain in through my body. that night i was alone my mother wasnt even there and helping me when i was bleeding apart or anything i had losted the child i loved so dearly. the next morning i had to take the 4 pills so that everything that was there could get flushed out. so i did and it was the worst pain of my life. it induced labor we forgot to take the pain pills first. but as soon as i took thoughs pills i fell asleep and i slept for 4 days straight it felt like. this was not a bad thing because i numbed some of my pain that i had lost this child. a week later my ex texted me and i basically told him what happened and he denied that it was even his and, that he was sorry but he didnt cause this. that confirmed to me that he was not going to be a fit father anyways, and it hurt me so much, the worst thing that any guy could have done to me. years have pasted and i have healed so much thanks to my husband and soulmate, and his family. ever since then i have had dreams about my little angel he comes to me when i need it and tells me that he loves me so much and gives me hugs and kisses and i’m so blessed that my babies spirt is with me. some ladies have symbols and names for there little angels. i have feathers. feather to me symbolize him and his spirt because he is my gardian angel and he always will be with me.