my girlfriend decided on abortion

Author: My First Name
Baby Name: Tyler Rumble
Birth Date: March 2021
Abortion Date: August 25, 2018

I was with my girlfriend of 7 months when she found out she was pregnant. I was 36 with no children and she was 27 with a 6 year old from a previous relationship. I had a house and we both had good paying jobs, and I knew we could make it work, but over the next couple weeks she started thinking differently. She had bigger plans in life, and she wasn’t really sure if she wanted another child. I tried to support her but I also kept my distance, I really didn’t want to cause a problem when I didn’t see one to begin with. I didn’t hear from her for a few days, I texted her to see if everything was okay, she said everything was fine. The afternoon of the next day, August 25, 2017 is when she texted me telling me that she had an abortion. I found out later that she went to Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs to get rid of it.
I was pissed! I was very pissed! I tried asking WHY she didn’t tell me BEFORE she did this but she told me that it was her body and she didn’t need my permission. She also said that I would argue about it, and she didn’t want to feel forced on changing her mind.
I also found out that her mom took her to the clinic. I loved her mom, I loved everything about the family, but they no longer wanted anything of me. I guess I JUST DONT MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lost a child, I lost a girlfriend, and I lost another family all because of an abortion and somehow it became my fault.
I did see a therapist for about 6 months, talking about this and many things in my life. I went through quit a bit of depression and guilt, and I haven’t even tried to find a girl and start a new relationship.
But its coming on 3 years since the abortion, and it just hits me that this even happened.
I am sorry for every guy who is hurting for these dumb :”so-called” choices. I get it. TRUST ME I GET IT!!! I would have been a good dad, and I would have been ready. And I don’t even know my dad is, and I wasn’t going to let that happen with the child I had.
I could say a million more words but I am done talking.