My Mason or Shelby (age 8)

Author: Anonymous
Baby Name: Mason or Shelby
Birth Date: Unknown
Abortion Date: 20th July 2012

Im struggling to write this year ill be honest, how can someone convey their feelings when they’ve done the worst thing to an innocent child? How do i even have the right to feel self pity in this situation, when im in the blame for what happened to you? Another year has gone by, and again another year you’ve crossed my mind everyday. When i hear a giggle, a laugh, see a child holding his dads hand, i think of you, what should have been. 8 years old you would have been, wow, wonder how’d you behave, probably naughty like me and spoilt by all. It destroys my soul what happened, but i cant do anything about it. I try to move past the decisions made, knowing one day i’ll see you again, see that cheeky smile i know you’ll have. You’d get that from me you see. I mentioned your mother last year, and i feel that she should be mentioned again this year, even tho we do not talk, she wont acknowledge to me her hurt or remembrance of you, but i’m sure she does in her own way. She does love you too. Even tho we are separate from each other, love for you is always here. You are part of us.

There are so many things that have changed the last year, i wish that you could have been apart of it, changes in myself. I know that if you were here, id show you the changes, and how i could never repeat the stupid, selfish disgusting action that cost you your life. I miss you each day, my little princess shelby or little dude mason. It breaks my heart even more each year dedicating this day to you. But i need to remember you, id never forget, your a part of me. I did take you for granted, and for this im forever sorry. I know its not enough but i truly am. Some people have a grave to go to, a favourite spot or something to remember by. But for me i have nothing, and deservedly so. This is the only thing i have and can do, to write on this memorial page. It isn’t enough, it never will be enough. But please know this my priceless son or daughter, i regret my decision to let you go every day, and even tho i never met you, i love you so much it actually hurts all of my body, each day i know i draw closer to seeing you, and this at least is some comfort. Again know that your dad loves you, and ill write you again soon. Forever and always, your Dad. X