My Precious Angel

Author: Brittany
Baby Name: Alice Hannah
Birth Date: October 2014
Abortion Date: February 2014

My precious angel baby,

Mommy knows she made a very hard decision when she decided she could not keep you. She knows she will live with that decision for the rest of her life. What mommy wants you to know is that she loves you. She loves you very much and is very sorry for what she decided to do. Daddy loves you too and though he won’t admit it and though he won’t talk about it, he misses you and he too will live with this always in his heart. You were our baby, our first baby, and what I would like to think would have been our baby girl. Your daddy always wanted a baby girl and I always told him he was crazy. I know things usually go his way, so I’d like to think he was right in this as well. If that was the case, your name is Alice, Alice Hannah. Mommy would have gave you daddy’s last name, because some day soon mommy will take daddy’s last name too.

No, mommy won’t ever be able to feel you kicking or moving around. She won’t be able to hold you in her arms and listen to you cry and cry as she tried to put you to sleep. Mommy won’t be able to teach you to walk or ride a bike. She won’t be able to take you to your first day of school or watch you struggle through middle school because you like to read and everyone thinks your weird because your still a daddies girl. She won’t be able to hold you when you have a broke heart or help you get ready for prom. She won’t be able to cry at your wedding when she see’s you walk down the isle. But mommy will never forget you. You were her first baby, her hardest decision, you are the baby that taught mommy to dance in the rain. You taught mommy to believe that God will catch her when she falls. You showed mommy there is always a dawn. Mommy is sorry, so very sorry that she couldn’t give you life and love you in the flesh. Mommy is sorry she took your choice when she made hers.

Mommy knows you are in heaven with God now, too soon, but mommy knows God will never punish you, her baby, for the choice she made. She knows God opened his home to you with strong loving arms and that he is very lucky to have such a wonderful baby with him, as you are lucky to be dwelling within the kingdom of God. Watch over mommy now, and daddy too. Some day I will ask you for something that may be hard for you, because I will ask you to watch over your siblings when they arrive on this planet. When mommy and daddy are ready and able to welcome them. For now though, watch over mommy and help her get through this hard time. Watch over daddy, and let him know in your own way that it’s okay for him to admit he loved you and it’s okay for him to be sad too.

Thank you my precious little angel, mommy is sorry she gave you your wings so soon.

I love you with all my heart,