My three babies, Jack, Max, Isabelle
Author: Anonymous Baby Name: Jack, Max, Isabella Birth Date: April 1993 Abortion Date: June 1992
I was depressed, spiraling into alcoholism after the breakup of a 7-year relationship with my high school sweetheart. He had cheated on me; I found out through my Gyno when she told me I had Chlamydia. After the breakup, I stopped using birth control, convinced I would never love again. I got pregnant from a wild, one night stand. At the same time I was dealing with an ever- worsening eating disorder, further messing up my body and my psyche. I drank more, popped pills, snorted coke, and ended up miscarrying shortly before the abortion appointment. “Jack” you would be almost 25 now. I’m sorry I wasn’t healthy and able to take care of myself and you at the time. Three years later I was even deeper into alcoholism and got pregnant twice in three months, same partner, we’re married now. But at the time I was very sick with alcoholism and bulimia, and didn’t care about anything. The nurse at the clinic when I came back for the second abortion said “we don’t condone abortion as a form of birth control.” I found that extremely condescending and hypocritical, for she performed the very method she claimed not to condone. She purposely gave me a light dose of sedative so that I was awake for part of the procedure. I threw up the entire way home. “Max” and “Bella” you would be 23 now, my precious babies. I hope you all can forgive me. I was very ill, but I know there is no good excuse for what I did. I pray and hope to see you three in Heaven one day and you will forgive me. I love you, my babies. God, please forgive me. I’m married to the same man and we have a child now, and we’re happy, but I cry for my other babies and I’m sorry for what I did.