To my angel in heaven

Author: Anonymous
Birth Date: February 2006
Abortion Date: June 2005

To my angel in heaven,

It has been 16 years… I think about you all the time. I know I am forgiven (by God) but it still very much hurts. A deep scar that I know won’t go away. I know when I go to heaven I will be with you. What a joyous day that will be to be not only my Lord and Savior but also my first baby and son. I don’t know if you were a boy but I know that God had told me I would have 3 boys and 3 girls. So I truly believe you were a boy. I wish how I could turn back the time and keep you. I wish I could tell everyone what I wanted… I would SCREAM it for the whole world to hear but it is too late. I wish this was one lesson I didn’t have to learn the hard way. I’m teaching your brothers and sisters to speak up for themselves and to always tell me the truth even if it something I don’t want to hear. I don’t want them to ever feel like they can’t tell me they are pregnant because I would be there for them. I wish that I could of taken your place. You didn’t deserve that. You were so innocent. Oh it just cuts me deep. I often dream about you with Jesus- I know your happy. That gives me comfort but I still miss you. I still want to know who you are. I hope you forgive me for what I did. And I hope you know that I love you so much. I wish you were here but I know also you’re really in a better place then me. I just wish it wasn’t the way it was. I’m sorry. You’re dad thinks of you too. We regret with our whole hearts what we did. He has a scar too. My sweet little angel in heaven, I hope your looking down on me. I hope you know I long for your hug and sweet smile one day. I hope you know I love you. And more importantly I hope you know how terribly and deeply sorry I am.
I love you forever,
Your Mama